I'm not an artist.

I'm working on a website with four of my friends that should be up and running eventually-- 5girls1blog.com.  It'll be a couple weeks I think. Then i'll start writing regularly on that. I've had this for a while though but never used it. I posted some random stuff that I deleted because it was crap. I used to "blog" a lot, haha what a dumb word. I used to write a lot online on xanga, I don't think that's a site people use anymore, though. That was years and years ago. Anyway, I used to like it. That was before anyone had any reason to care about what I said online. Ha, not that anyone does now. Some kids...and I guess even some adults... think they know all about me now though, or at least my husband. It's nuts how once people put themselves in the spotlight they lose almost all hope of owning themselves. It's like all the sudden they're owned by every kid with a critical opinion and internet connection.  It's just lame to me how people are so critical.  Like that saying, "if you can't be an artist, be a critic."  I guess it's not really a big deal. It just seems kind of sad to me. Kids scratching and clawing to stay hip by saying that they love this band and hate this band and wear these bracelets and don't like their moms. Just be cool. Calm down. You don't know anything about "famous" peoples' relationships. Who cares anyway? They're just people, anyway. Is that why you watch movies or listen to music? Because you know each and every artist, judge their lives accordingly, then chose to listen to/watch their art? Or do you connect with them through their music/art? That makes more sense to me.  I'm not complaining, I guess this isn't something that I think about a lot, it's just that I feel a little disappointed when I can feel self-consciousness radiate from a 16 year-old girl because she has to portray this attitude of pretentiousness/disinterest/uniformity to fit into this wildly popular "counterculture." Pretty obvious that you're not being different by trying to be just like someone else... Right? What do I know...

Whatever, I feel like i've been judged a lot since Adam and I got married. In the end, I really don't give a shit because it only bothers me on a surface level and for different reasons than vanity or hurt feelings. I play with a baby and change dirty diapers and pick bugs off my dog. It bothers me more because these people sit at home, wasting their time on internet stuff, like gossiping about things that are lies anyway, when they could be writing, reading, learning, building people up instead of tearing them down, creating instead of wondering about some worthless internet drama. 

Well, in a round-about sort of way I'm doing the same thing right now. So, anyway. Oh well whatever nevermind.  I just think it'd be cooler if there was a shift in this whole scene. Certain internet sites, influential bloggers, whatever, promote such criticism of and sense of entitlement over bands, celebrities, fashions, etc.  It'd be a lot cooler if people would be way slower to judge, way less harsh in their judgments (obviously not all music is going to appeal to all people...obviously),  just more respect in general... More respect for themselves, for their friends, for their enemies (especially when they do not know them at all), and for artists who put their work out there.  You try it, put yourself out there, whether musically, artistically, verbally and then see how it feels when people tear the shit out of it for no other reason than they have the forum and they are entitled.  Ha, but i'm not an artist, so what do I know anyway?